Carpe Diem

There is humility found in the simplicity of this single day of life, as there will never be another today.

 

I used to think being simple was a characteristic of weakness - that those who took life "one-day-at-a-time" were people that were struggling with their current reality. 

It's taken some of life's greatest losses to appreciate and admire those that have learned to embrace a simpler life, those that just enjoy today. For true joy in our soul is found when we acknowledge the basic blessings around us.

The contentment gleaned from believing in a power greater than ourselves.

The food on our table, and a roof over our heads.

The love and adoration of our spouse.

 

The health and well being of our family.

Nature and the great outdoors. 

All the things we muddle through life taking for granted have become crystal clear during this recent season of drought - a season when so much was taken, yet so much remained. A season in life where God seems to be trying harder than ever to get our attention.

My mother was a simple human being. Her preference for the mundane was one of the characteristics she possessed that often drove me crazy when she was alive. 

Didn’t she want more out of life? 

Didn’t she have goals and dreams that she aspired to achieve beyond the basics in this life? 

Did anything truly rattle her to the core? 

I often asked myself these questions when I was in her presence during the less-than-ideal circumstances she often found herself living, and it puzzled me. But, she never wavered. With my momma, the simpler the life, the better. 

She loved the sun and being outside. She enjoyed working with her hands and watching things come to life before her eyes. After years spent overweight and discontent, she strived for strength of body and soul. Exercising fueled both. She was a homebody. Although, in her forties she became a little more adventurous! She got a taste of the beauty beyond her home state and enjoyed the exploration. In fact, in her last few months of life she was planning to marry the love-of-her-life down in the mountains of East Tennessee. They were working on a fixer-upper - a small ranch at the base of the woods that they gutted to the studs. Mom was simple.

Now as a mother, I look back at her outlook on life and cherish the person she was. With her, life was generally not at all complicated. Mom's mode-of-operation was quite clear to those of us that knew her.

Be more in the moment. 

Get outside for some fresh air.

Enjoy the sun. 

Live for today.

If only we could all live our lives like this. Imagine how different our world might be?

The twenty-first century rat race robs the majority of us of our joy. Today’s family is far too focused on where we are going tomorrow to appreciate where we are today. It’s not that we don’t genuinely desire joy, but we’re just far too busy to embrace what's right in front of us. The journey is often wasted away by keeping up with the Jones'. 

It's a tough lesson to learn when so much of our current reality is fixated on where we're headed. But, contentment can never be achieved until we slow down long enough to truly appreciate the day at hand. Instead, we're focused on everything we wished we had.

A bigger home that's decked to the nines.

A fancier car.

The best private school or select ball team for our kid to join.

Always moving on to bigger and better than what we currently have. 

Yet, before we know it, we’re in our “dream home,” our babies are all grown up, and we find ourselves at the brink of divorce, because we never stopped along the journey long enough to truly appreciate the pure joy we could have shared with one another each and every day. This vicious cycle is why more than half of all families are left broken.

Granted, I’ll be the first to admit I don’t deserve the mother, nor the wife-of-the-year award. 

I'm short with my family. 

I yell. 

I'm impatient.

I get "hangry" at least once a day.

And, I probably drink too much wine!

But, one thing's certain - I can look back on the years of my boys' lives and say with confidence we did our best as a team of parents to teach them what’s truly important in this life through our actions – family, faith and an appreciation for the world around them. 

When they were littles I tried to live each day to its fullest with them, because I knew they would only be my babies for a short season in this life. I may have lost a little bit of my sanity in the process of being a stay-at-home-mom back then, but if I lost it in order to produce a solid foundation for my two boys, it was worth all the sacrifice.

We made the decision for me to be a stay-at-home-mom when my oldest was just a babe - a decision that was partly fueled by the loss of my mother to a brain hemorrhage shortly before his conception. My pregnancy and post-partum experiences weren't the typical season many mothers are blessed to partake, but instead was manhandled by the giant elephant in the room - her death. 

Grief. It's a beast.

The circle of life can bring us to our knees, stripping us of all we thought we knew to be true in this life, and simplifying our existence to the utter core. And, it changed me. 

Losing her and gaining him in a single season in this life proved that so much I "valued" was truly fleeting in the grand scheme of my existence. Not my extravagant plans, nor my career; not my newly-built house in the suburbs with the large mortgage, nor my new SUV meant much of anything next to her passing soul, and his thriving little life in my arms. The material is truly fleeting. 

Me staying home strapped us financially. I put my career on hold in my early thirties during a time when most of my friends were still climbing the corporate ladder and banking cash for their future. I traded intellectual stimulation and adult conversation for insane amounts of Thomas the Train and poopy diapers for nearly five years. 

But, I didn't miss a single milestone. 

Not a single step, or a single new word. 

I made their baby food, and we enjoyed countless days outside in the great outdoors. 

I taught them both their ABCs and their 123's. 

My oldest was even counting in Spanish by the time he hit preschool! 

Life with them back then was exhausting and exhilarating all in one fare swoop. 

There wasn't going to be anybody raising my babies in those early years but their momma. The experience sucked the life out of me some days. But, our littles are only little for a season in this life. Experiencing every ounce of them is what a momma should do. It's simple, and it's mundane. But, it's what lays the foundation for good humans.

No truer words were spoken about the early years of raising children - the days are so very long, but oh the years so short.

I eventually went back to work. And, my babies grew up. Life got away from me, and it became slightly more complicated. 

Two careers, and two in sports year-around.

Homework, and dinners on-the-run.

Life happening for four different human beings under the same roof.

Okay, so like nearly a decade-and-a-half got away from me in the blink-of-an-eye, and everything in this life has become more complicated. And, now all of the sudden I have a high schooler and a middle schooler. 

And, in the words of country music singer, Kenny Chesney, "Don't blink."

But, somewhere in the thick of those years in between the monotony of the baby blues and the terrible-two's; the frisky-four's and the now raging teenage hormones, were a lot of amazing experiences together, and important decisions that have inevitably molded our boys into respectable young men. 

The long Saturdays spent at the nearby state park. 

The weekend getaways and family vacations we made priority (even when the funds may not have been abundant).

Church every Sunday. A prayer before our meals, and before we close our eyes every night.

Simple life together. That's what we do.

I'm confidant we've taught them to appreciate this life, and the world around them, and to live it with some level of simplicity and appreciation. And, I'm equally as confidant that our God played the biggest role in guiding our family down the right paths at just the right time.

Several years back we made the decision to move our family out of the rat race of suburban life. We downsized our home, and upsized our property. 

Out in the country we can breathe a little better and life is a little slower. It's where our boys spend hours-at-a-time outside getting dirty, and swimming in our pond, and shooting hoops. It's where we can see the stars at night. And, wow are the sunrises and sunsets something to behold. They get tired of me snapping pics of our beautiful landscape out here, but oftentimes it takes my breath away.

Don’t get me wrong, years later into this parenting gig, and years since losing my beautiful mother, I still have not found the purest of joy in this life. The evils of our world get the best of this mom - competition, and comparison, and jealousy, and exhaustion.

But, when I look back on these days spent as a parent, the last thing I want is to have regret. Because, I’ve also learned that regret is a powerful force that can rid us of our ability to experience the joy God intends for us in this lifetime.

As parents, our simple actions speak volumes more than our words ever could. 

How we invest our time.

Where we invest our money.

Children are sponges. And, they are watching...soaking it all in.

That’s why it’s so important to seize each and every day with our kids. Building memories today will reap benefits beyond anything we could ever communicate to them throughout their lives. Every season should be experienced as "the season" that will mold them and shape them into the beings God planned for them to be. That's our job as their parents - to be God's heart & hands & feet in their lives. It's really quite simple.

Parenthood has taught me the true meaning of the phrase Carpe Diem. 

Seize the day.

And, it's a shame I didn't "get it" when mom was alive. But, I hope she sees that I've grasped it as the mother of her two grandsons. I hope she's proud of this daughter I've become...slowly and surely... with time & grace.

All too often we lose sight of how important it is to focus on what is happening today, because we’re too busy planning for tomorrow. But, our little ones have no concept of time. Their joy is found in the simplicity of the day at hand. And all the “today’s” added together produce the journey we experience with them as a family. And, wow, does it go by quickly.

Best selling author and founder of The American Wellness Project, Greg Anderson, said it best. 

“Focus on the journey; not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity, but in doing it.” 

It doesn't get any simpler than that. 

So, inhale, and take it all in. 

Embrace your journey together. 

Live this life to its fullest as a family.

Time spent together is a simple concept. And, it's one we genuinely do not appreciate until it's gone.

So, always remember this day is a gift. That's why we call it the present.

It's really very simple.